Top 100 Horror Flicks: Class of 2010

It’s almost Halloween, and here at ColuMn™, we celebrate Halloween  by watching a ton of really mediocre horror movies that we’ve watched at least a dozen times before.  But every once in a while we accidentally see something made within the past ten years that isn’t absolute crap.  When we do, it’s clearly time to update our legendary Top 100 Horror Flicks list.

Here are seven more entries that make the cut.  Looking over the lists from 2008 and 2009, it’s clear I should probably re-evaluate a lot of these films and compose a new list.  But not this year.  We’ll save that until next year or probably never.

Anyway, I’ve inserted these titles in the general area they belong in, meaning a bunch of the lower-ranking movies have dropped off the list.  Use your imagination.  These aren’t necessarily judged on how good these are from a critical standpoint, but more how effective I thought they were at scaring the piss out of me.  Have I missed any?  Let me know.

89.  PIRANHA 3-D (2010)

Directed by Aja Alexandre
Genre:  Monster Fish
Last Year’s Rank:  NEW
Rating:  3.5 stars

We here at ColuMn™ LOVE the Made-For-SyFy movies of the week (I have one further up on this list).  This is a big screen, fairly big budget 3-D SyFy movie.  It’s a bit of a departure from his usual fare for director Aja Alexandre (High Tension, The Hills Have Eyes remake), but it’s one of the most entertaining movies I saw this year.  I actually stopped hating Jerry O’Connell for a minute after watching this, then he popped up on some horrible, horrible show co-starring the black hole of talent, Jim Belushi.

77.  DRAG ME TO HELL (2009)

Directed by Sam Raimi
Genre:  Curse
Last Year’s Rank:  NEW
Rating:  3.5 stars

Hope ran high for Sam Raimi’s return to horror.  I actually liked this flick a lot.  It has sort of a lighthearted feel throughout, but the ending is nice and grim.  No, it’s no Evil Dead 2, but it’s a nice, entertaining horror movie.

63.  MEGA SHARK VERSUS GIANT OCTOPUS (2009)

Directed by Jack Perez
Genre:  Monster Fish
Last Year’s Rank:  NEW
Rating:  3 stars

This ranking is really for three of my favorite SyFy monster movies:  Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus, Dinoshark, and Sharktopus.  All of these movies tell basically the same story.  Government fucks with nature, mutant sea creature goes on attack.  Lorenzo Lamas hunts sea creature.  Well, ideally Lorenzo Lamas would star in all of these.  He REALLY phones it in here, but he still somehow manages to out-act Debbie Gibson.  Seriously.  Debbie Gibson is likable enough, but she really can’t act.

56.  THE COLLECTOR (2009)

Directed by Marcus Dunstan
Genre:  Slasher
Last Year’s Rank:  NEW
Rating:  3.5 stars

I had pretty low expectations for this movie, but was pleasantly surprised.  The Collector isn’t a bad monster and this movie actually had some good scares and suspense.  This movie kind of went under everybody’s radar, but it’s worth hunting down.

39.  HATCHET (2006)

Directed by Adam Green
Genre:  Slasher
Last Year’s Rank:  NEW
Rating:  4 stars

I have no idea why it took me so long to check this movie out.  It’s everything I love about old skool 80s slasher flicks with some great icons of the genre (and Harmony from Buffy the Vampire Slayer naked).  I was bummed when the sequel got pulled from theaters earlier this year after one night, but I’m anxious to check it out whenever it comes to On Demand or Netflix.  Inventive kills, actual characters, and Jason Voorhees himself, Kane Hodder, doing what he does best.

30.  ORPHAN (2009)

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra
Genre:  Creepy Kid
Last Year’s Rank:  NEW
Rating:  4.5 stars

Man, this past year was a really good year for horror.  This movie is another non-remake/non-sequel that was genuinely creepy.  The actress who plays Esther, Isabelle Fuhrman is probably the creepiest child actor since Linda Blair (that’s a compliment).  You may or may not see it coming, but the twist at the end is one of the classics in all of horror.

10.  The Fourth Kind (2009)

Directed by Olatunde Osunsanmi
Genre:  Alien
Last Year’s Rank:  NEW
Rating:  5 stars

I know some people who don’t find this movie scary.  I, however, found this movie to be right up there with Paranormal Activity as the scariest thing I saw last year (I think it might even be scarier).  It’s a hybrid of the found-footage genre and the re-enactments based on “actual events” genre (is that a genre?).  I thought it was very shrewd and well-done.  This one stuck with me for a while and I still try not to think of it when I’m trying to go to sleep.

Note 1:  [REC] (2007)

Directed by Jaume Balagueró and Paco Plaza
Genre:  Zombie
Last Year’s Rank:  NEW
Rating:  5 stars

This is the movie that Quarantine is based on.  I really liked Quarantine, but this version is just insane.  It’s seriously intense.  The sequel isn’t nearly as good, and really undermines the zombie storyline, but there is a great kill utilizing a bunch of fireworks.  Don’t let the subtitles scare you.  Pop on the English Dub audio track and strap on the adult under garment.

Note 2: PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2

Directed by Tod Williams
Genre:  Found Footage/Ghost
Last Year’s Rank:  NEW
Rating:  5 stars

Since I don’t rank sequels or remakes (generally), I just wanted to write a quick note about this one.  It doesn’t redefine horror movies and it doesn’t have the greatest story ever told, but, man, this is one scary flick.  Best if you see it in a packed theater, but even at home I’m betting this is pretty terrifying.  Right after I saw this, I streamed the original on Netflix.  I’ve now seen the original three times and it still was fairly effective.  There’s also a surprising amount of continuity between the two films and I picked up on a lot watching this after the sequel.

Honorable Mention:  The Crazies, Zombieland

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s