The ColuMn Face-Off: Cola Wars

ColuMn Face-Off tm

It’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of Coca-Cola that uses pure cane sugar vs. Coke that uses high fructose corn syrup. It’s mostly no secret because I just posted it here on the internet. Also, what could possibly be gained by keeping such information a secret?

Now, normally I’m a steady Diet Coke drinker. But more and more I’ve been reverting back to the pure cane sugar sodas. Which is a terrible idea. I’m packin’ on the pounds quicker than Nien Nunb’s reflexes.

The thing is, these Mexican Cokes are like $2.50. for a 12 ounce bottle. That works out okay for me. It keeps me from somehow getting over my fear of needles and hooking up the Mexican Cokes to an i.v. drip.  But I’m still dropping way too much cold hard cash on cold wet coke.  So to speak.

Enter:  Jones Soda Cola.  Not only can you get a dozzen cans for $4.00, but it too is made with delicious pure cane sugar.  Mmmm.  But is there a difference in taste?  And for that matter, is the difference that  pronounced when compared to original Classic Coke?  As the internet’s premiere investigative journalist, I knew what the people would demand.  That’s right.  It’s time for a patented . . .

ColuMn Face-Off™

So now you’ve met the competitors.  Let’s see how they measure up.

Coca-Cola Classic

Coke Classic

This is the high-fructose-corn-syrup-sweetened Coke we all grew up on and continue to enjoy today (except for that brief bit of madness in the mid-80s).  Like I mentioned earlier, I’m mostly a Diet Coke guy now, but there is no better cola than Coke Classic.  Hands down.  Or . . . is there?  


After The Taste Test:  “Not quite as carbonated as the others.  A little sweeter than the Jones.  A milder cola taste with the slight hint of an after taste.”




Mexican Coca-Cola

El Coca-Cola

From south of the border comes perhaps the only fighter with enough weight to pull off the unimaginable:  being tastier than Coke Classic.  The big asset in this cagey Mexican’s corner is the sweet, sweet pure cane sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup.  But can that sole ingredient-switch make a difference?


After The Taste Test: “Similar to Coke Classic, but a bit sharper taste.  This is probably the sweetest-tasting of all the sodas.”




Jones Pure Cane Soda 


A dark horse emerges from the wilds of the Pacific Northwest.  Jones Soda is a favorite of soda geeks everywhere with their off-beat flavors and pure cane sugar-sweetened sodas.  The ingredient list is nearly identical  to the Mexican Coke, with Jones using Potassium Benzoate as a preservative.


After The Taste Test:  “Sharp.  Sweet, but not overly sweet.  Nice cola taste.  Very little after taste.  This one is a winner.”



And there you have it.  The shocking winner is Jones Pure Cane Soda.  I’m as shocked as you are.  I would have bet all the money you have that I would have picked Mexican Coke.  But I guess it’s the nice old skool glass bottle that somehow makes it seem like Mexican Coke tastes better.

I know there is Jones Soda Cola in the bottle.  I’ll be on the lookout for it from here on out.  But for now, the cans will do nicely.  

Yeah.  I hate puns too.




Ingredients:  All three sodas contain:  Carbonated water, caramel color, phosphoric acid, natural flavors, caffeine.  Jones and Mexican Coke have cane sugar, where Coke Classic uses high fructose corn syrup.  And Jones contains potassium benzoate, used as a preservative.



9 thoughts on “The ColuMn Face-Off: Cola Wars

  1. Don’t let him fool you, Sparks. That’s just his decoy stash. I bet if you sniff around, maybe behind the 12-year old jar of Fluff, you might find yourself pleasantly surprised.

  2. I think BlackJack is trying to kill me by having me write up all these horrible foods. I mean, BK Ketchup and Fries Chips? Doritos Myster Flavor? KRAFT MAC & CHEESE CRACKERS?!?! There is someone sinister behind the curtain and that man’s name is BLACKJACK! Damn you, BlackJack! Damn you!

  3. Wait a second! Sparks…a robot dog? Doesn’t it short out your batteries when you try to lap up the cola deliciousness? Are you trying to pull one over on me? Or is there someone more sinister behind the curtain?

  4. I have a cool picture of Mexican Coca Cola on my phone, I love it so. And here I thought I was the only one. Now I have to go try Jones Pure Cane and see if I can choose between Coke and Cane (get it? Coke Cane – I crack me up).

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