Chocolate Chex

Chocolate Chex

When I was but a lad my parents would torture me by only buying cereals that were allegedly good for you.  This ruled out pretty much every cereal I liked and definitely every cereal that tasted like something other than insulation foam.  Chex were one of the least depressing brands I’d get to eat, and Rice Chex were especially not shat on.  But Rice Chex just don’t cut it in one essential vitamin and mineral:  sugar.  Luckily for me, my parents were firm believers in chocolate syrup, so after nine tablespoons of sugar and half a bottle of choclate syrup, I had a bowl of cereal that you could almost mistake for Count Chocula from a distance.

Naturally, when I spotted Chocolate Chex on the grocery shelf, I grabbed a box like I’d just found the white variant cover of Ultimate Spider-man #1.  I raced home and poured a heaping bowl.


Living together in perfect harmony.

Living together in perfect harmony.

The first thing you notice is that about half of the Chex are chocolate and half are plain old Rice Chex (I verified this with a scientific “taste test”).  Hmm.  I’ve got to admit, I started to lose my faith in the honorable General Mills for a brief moment.  But who was I to question the orders of such a decorated and respected veteran of so many battles?  I poured the milk over them and sat down to taste for myself.

This is a surprisingly chocolatey cereal.  I mean, I was expecting it to be like when Cheerios introduced their lame Froot Loops knock-off, especially in light of the 50-50 ratio of actual chocolate Chex.  But this is one of the most chocolate-drenched cereals I’ve ever given my mouth.  It’s like eating a bowl of cold hot chocolate.  


Chex?  Check.

Chex? Check.

If you like chocolate cereals like Cocoa Puffs or Count Chocula, or if you really, really, really want diabetes in the fastest possible way, then I can’t recommend Chocolate Chex highly enough.  If you’re more a fan of cereals that don’t taste like you’re eating bowl of milk-covered Hershey’s Kisses, then you might want to stick with Rice Chex.


Serving size:  3/4 cup
Calories:  130 (all numbers are without the milk)
Total Fat:  2.5 g
Sodium:  250 mg 
Protein:  2 g
Contains at least 25% of the RDA of the following vitamins:  iron, thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, vitamin b6, folic acid, zinc.

ColuMn Fun Fact™:  Contains Peanut Flour!

ColuMn Rating:  ★★★1/2



4 thoughts on “Chocolate Chex

  1. Yeah. Chocolate Chex weren’t my favorite. If I’m eating a chocolate-flavored cereal, odds are it’s Count Chocula. Right now I’m really stuck on the Life Maple and Brown Sugar.

  2. Just….no. Chex will always be that no-flavor cereal that I’ll never ever eat again!

    Cocoa Krispies. Now that’s just love in a bowl!

  3. There’s an easy solution to that: meticulously pick out each Rice Check (I’m assuming “Check” is the singular form of “Chex”) and just eat the Chocolate ones. True, you’ll only have half the cereal, but the odds of living long enough to make it through even that half box are pretty slim.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s