Canada is a great country. They’ve given us hockey, William Shatner, Todd McFarlane, David Cronenberg, and Rush. It’s been home to every tv show and movie from Galactica to The X-Files to Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (you know, because Vancouver looks like Manhattan). And it’s got great food. Their McDonald’s is better than ours. Tim Horton’s kicks major ass (mmmm. The B.E.L.T.) And then there’s the candy. Oh, the candy.
Which brings us to today’s eerie post all the way from Kamloops, B.C. where The Instigator and Klaus McKenzie are busy setting up the Canadian branch of The Association™. From California, I made my way far north to see how it was going at L’association™. It was going great, as these eight Canada-exclusive (more or less) candy bars can attest to.
This is a small bar. I’m not sure if they come in bigger sizes, but this is two squares. It’s light and airy smooth chocolate that’s almost like a Three Musketeers, except with a light chocolate filling instead of the standard creamy nougat. A very tasty little bar, made by the fine people at Nestle.
Here’s a bar that you can get in the United States. This is exactly the same as the Caramello. I have no idea why they replaced one sort of lame name with a really lame name. This version consists of ten squares of rich milk chocolate and creamy caramel. This is just a delicious, good old fashioned candy bar.
As I’ve probably stated before somewhere, I’m not a coffee drinker, but this is pretty good. Chocolate covered wafers with a subtle coffee flavor. I doubt I’d get this again, but if you like coffee, I can’t imagine not liking this candy bar.
This is one long bar that looks like a large-size Heath bar. The taste is a combination of a Heath bar and a Butterfinger. Good chocolate. Great mix of flavors. This is a very good candy bar.
This one looks like a really long Snickers, but the taste and texture are completely different. The sponge toffee center is a weird consistency. It’s light and easily bitable, but still what I’d half consider hard candy. It tastes great, though. Once again, very reminiscent of a Heath bar. This is quite a large candy bar and it took me some time to eat it.
This is probably my favorite of all of the Canadian candy bars, and it’s also, not coincidentally, the one bar that I ate before I could take a picture of it. This is a big bar (as the name implies). Chocolate, peanuts, marshmellow nougat. You just can’t go wrong. HIGHLY recommended. Why can’t we get this one in the States?
These are not at all like the Smarties we get in the U.S. The Smarties we know and love have the consistency of chalk and have different flavors, depending on the color you eat (shout out to white). Smarties up in Canada are made by Nestle and are a cross between M&Ms and those chocolate Easter egg minis. And yes, I ate the red ones last, as they instruct.
The one looks like a gigantic Twix bar. It’s a unique combination of peanut butter, caramel, chocolate, and crunchies. Another winner, though there is a lot of chewy caramel, so your jaw gets a good work out.
So that wraps it up. The clear winners are Mr. Big, Caramilk, and Crispy Crunch, followed closely by Aero, Smarties, and Crunchie. Coffee Crisp brings up the rear for me, but if you like coffee, it will most likely fare better with you.