Dirty Baby Santa

Dirty Baby Santa in "HELL NIGHT"

Ho ho ho.  Hello, boys and girls.  It’s your old friend, Santa Claus with a special Christmas message just for you.
 

Welcome to my lair.

Oh ho ho.  But I’m not your grandma’s Santa Claus.  I murdered that fat fuck 20 years ago.   As a punishment, the Frost Fairy turned me into Dirty Baby Santa.  Which, I have to admit, I’m kinda cool with.

 

Come closer

I mean, do you know how much tail a baby-sized Santa gets?

 

I can sit up all by myself.

If I wasn’t baby-sized and dirty, I’ll admit, I might get better quality poon, but definitely not a higher quantity if you catch my drift.  Ho ho ho.

 

Lucky Attacks

Goddamn it.  Damn cat won’t stop sniffing my ass.  Yeah!  I poop my pants!  I’m a fucking  baby, for Christ’s sake.   Now everybody knows.  Proud of yourself?  I’ll bet you are.  Damn cat.  Ho ho.

Chillin'

Most of the time (when I’m not getting *ahem* serviced) I like to just sit on my crappy Sears sofa and chill out.  You know.  Curl up with my best friends Jack Daniels and Mary Jane.  It’s the only way I can dull the voices that are constantly screaming in my head.  Ho.

See anything you like?

I know.  I’m a very bad Santa.  Santa need a nice rough spanking.  

 

Bwa ha ha ha

You don’t feel like playing with my ass?  Well, how about a little head?  ho ho ho.
 

You know what Dirty Baby Santa likes.

But seriously.  I”ll blow you without a condom.  For five bucks.

 

I see you.

So there you have it.  It’ll be me ramming my yule log down your chimney this year and filling your stockings to the brim.  So how about you shitcan the cookies and milk?  Huh?  Dirty Baby Santa prefers pornography and liquor.  I see even one fucking chocolate chip and you can forget about a present.  Fuck.  I’ll burn your house down.

 

Merry Christmas, assholes.

Yours,

Dirty Baby Santa

About BlackJack

BlackJack lives in Seattle. He enjoys crying children, old people, and drinking. In his spare time, BlackJack practices that one thing Tony Jaa does.

Posted on December 19, 2008, in Photo Essay and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Dear DBS:

    Oooooo. You’re hot. However, I’ve seen your “yule log”and sorry, but it’s more like a mint-scented toothpick. No problem though. I love those minty sticks. Come on down my chimney anytime. We can sit on my Walmart pull-out couch and watch the Yule Log on TV while eating Twinkie Pie with extra Cool Whip.

    Ho Ho Ho!

    Gigi

  2. Hi, Gigi,

    Dirty Baby Santa has locked himself in the bathroom with the Toys R Us Catalog, but I’ll pass your disturbing message on to him.

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